odette_river (
odette_river) wrote2008-08-21 10:21 pm
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Entry tags:
Narnia - Back to the beginning
Title: Back to the beginning
Fandom: Narnia
Character: Susan (implied Peter/Susan, or maybe just someone/Susan)
Rating: PG
Word Count:
Summary: he said she could not go back and she believed him.
written for the challenge at
ink_twist
She goes three years without seeing a golden mane, dark eyes, green of trees not from this world; three years in a world where she doesn’t belong, kissing the lips of men who aren’t him, surviving and pretending to live, too.
He said she could not go back and she believed him. But that was a lie. Not the first, not the last. Or maybe he wasn’t lying to her, just to Peter (she remembers the sparkle of sunlight in his hair). He let Peter go back.
One day, she looks at the sun and sees something else that once burned brighter than any sun, here or through a wooden wardrobe. The tears in her eyes are not from sun dazzle.
Fandom: Narnia
Character: Susan (implied Peter/Susan, or maybe just someone/Susan)
Rating: PG
Word Count:
Summary: he said she could not go back and she believed him.
written for the challenge at
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She goes three years without seeing a golden mane, dark eyes, green of trees not from this world; three years in a world where she doesn’t belong, kissing the lips of men who aren’t him, surviving and pretending to live, too.
He said she could not go back and she believed him. But that was a lie. Not the first, not the last. Or maybe he wasn’t lying to her, just to Peter (she remembers the sparkle of sunlight in his hair). He let Peter go back.
One day, she looks at the sun and sees something else that once burned brighter than any sun, here or through a wooden wardrobe. The tears in her eyes are not from sun dazzle.
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This is wonderful, and you are a fantastic writer. Honest. I have nothing to quibble with, really.
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I like her sadness here, her trying to live on. Very good. A lot of punch in a little bit.